Good Tuesday morning to you, with best wishes to our friend Will Roberts, who today will be having a PET scan in Birmingham to further determine what course of action doctors at Children’s of Alabama will take to treat Will’s bone cancer that has spread.
Will’s mom Brittney has been beautifully chronicling her family, and the Roberts have granted me permission to share Brittney’s thoughts with you.
Last night Brittnany wrote a beautiful essay that perfectly described an American family that is feeling pain, anxiousness, nerves and more.
She had arrived home to Ralph, AL after she and Will received terrible news about Will’s latest scans.
It was time to go fishing.
I think your heart will like Brittany’s entry:
“Behind every good day you see online in photos… there’s a moment someone almost broke… mine was today.
I did break.
My kids and best friend witnessed it all…..
“Here’s the ugly ME of today… nothing resembling God-like in me this afternoon.
“We tried to go fishing.
Me, Will, Charlie, and Frehley.
I knew before we even left it was about to be a train wreck… but Charlie (Brittney and Jason’s daughter) gets left out of so much, we went anyway.
“Before we even got in the boat…
Will: ‘Charlie, we aren’t listening to you fuss. You’ll just have to go back home.’
Charlie (of course) fired right back.
“Lines tangled immediately.
One pole down.
It was Charlie’s.
She was done.
“Then Will hooks my line.
The worm goes flying and now he’s mad.
He had a knotted up mess.
Will: ‘I don’t know why we all tried to do this. I don’t know why mama is casting when I am!’
“Then his line snaps. Two poles down.
“We try again.
I’m announcing every cast trying not to mess him up… meanwhile Charlie is twisting, turning, doing everything that’s unintentionally frustrating Will. Frehley and I are laughing… until it’s not funny anymore.
“He tangles again by hitting my line. Puts the reel down and starts huffing and puffing as he’s pulling his tangled up mess.
Will: ‘Well I guess we can just go back. We’re done.’
Me: ‘I still have my reel to fish.’
Will: ‘Well I’ll let you fish. I’m going to sit in the car.’
“And that’s where I lost it.
“Me: ‘You better be glad because your piss poor attitude is about to get that reel broke in half and thrown across this lake.’
Will: ‘Well what’s wrong with you?’ (knowing he had pushed me to the limits and saying sarcastically).
“Me: ‘You two self-centered little a$$holes acting like death isn’t knocking on our door and neither of you have regard for each other. It’s all about each of you and the world revolving around your needs and wants.’
“Will: ‘Oh… so you’ve given up hope?’ (Sarcastic tone)
Me: ‘No….I’m just facing reality like you two act like don’t exist.’
“And just like that… I knew.
“That wasn’t me. That was broken me.
“We got home and I grabbed my purse.
Will: ‘Mama, please don’t leave.’
Me: ‘I just need to be by myself for a little bit.’
“I took the long way around Foster’s just driving.
“I came to the river and just… broke. Cried.
Cussed.
Prayed.
Begged God to let me feel Him because today I didn’t feel anything but empty.
“This is the part I don’t mind sharing. It’s me in my most vulnerable times but this is childhood cancer.
The ugly.
The words you wish you could take back.
The moments where the weight is just too heavy.
The seconds when you can feel it all crashing around you.
“But this is where I am today.
I’m still trying.
Just… really, really tired.
“I just needed a break.
“Trying to hold it all together.
“It’s Just. Too. Heavy.”
What a marvelous post from Brittney who reminds us of the worry, stress and fatigue a parent with a sick child goes through.
Let’s give our best to Brittney and Jason and wish Will the best as he undergoes that PET scan today.
Let’s tell them we understand. 
