I carried more guilt into this Easter than joy…
but God met me there anyway.
This Easter looked different. Last year, we spent it in a hospital. This year… I carried a weight I couldn’t seem to shake.
I didn’t do the things I always do. We didn’t have new bright outfits, no big plans, no open invitation to the barn like we’ve done every year….
Truth is… the barn is still decorated for Christmas. I wasn’t ready and didn’t even attempt to be and for the first time since I had promised my stepmom before she passed… I didn’t plan our family gathering.That one sat the heaviest.
My brother messaged earlier this week asking about plans, and I had to tell him… there weren’t any but you can just “come on down and I’ll let you know where we are.”
We didn’t even have lunch planned today but somehow… God still showed up.
We went to church and heard a message from Pastor Jason that felt like it was written just for me and Will. So much so that at the end, Will leaned over and said, “Mama… God spoke to me and you that whole message, didn’t He?” I already felt it the entire message and in that moment knew Will listened and heard something he’s been struggling with as well this week.
After church, Will wasn’t feeling great and laid down for a nap. Jason took Charlie on to the barn so she could still enjoy her day.
Will and I didn’t make it there until after 5.
And when we pulled up…My brother, my sister and their families…They were there along with friends who are just as close as family.
They were there waiting, they still showed up, and they still loved us anyway with an Easter that didn’t feel like many in the past.
Even in the middle of fear… uncertainty… and all the “what ifs”…
today was still everything I’ve ever prayed for. Not because it was perfect or I did everything right, but because we were together, because we showed up… even if it was late, and because love didn’t require perfection.
Life can change in the blink of an eye.
We all live with unknowns… some just feel heavier than others.
But today was a reminder of something bigger than all of it….The tomb was rolled away. He is not there. HE HAS RISEN……And because of that…we still have hope!!! Thank you Jesus!!!
